WHAT IT IS...

A.T.A.K. is simply the most creative and fun way to handle those annoying telemarketing calls.

Whether it's the police urging you to "put the phone down and come out with your hands up", or an alien craft landing right outside your home, telemarketers will be speechless as the bizarre turn of events unfolds through the receiver!

You can use A.T.A.K. on telemarketers, or play practical jokes on your family and friends!

Click HERE to listen to samples!


HOW IT WORKS...

It's no news that telemarketers always call at the most inappropriate times, and for some people, it's next to impossible to get a word in edgewise! For that reason, we've created A.T.A.K., the first audio kit designed to get you off the phone quickly and creatively.

When you receive a call that turns out to be a telemarketer, simply let them continue talking and then press 'play' on your chosen audio source. The male or female voice on the track you've chosen (in effect, you from now on) will make the occasional grunt and "uh-huh" here and there, so the telemarketer thinks you're listening intently to the pitch. Shortly after, the scene will unfold and the mayhem will ensue! Each scenario ends with an audible 'click', so whether or not the telemarketer lasts until the very end, simply hang-up when the track ends!

A.T.A.K. includes ten bizarre audio scenarios, recorded with either male or female voice responses. Here's what you'll need to make it work for you:

  1. A personal computer with a media player that handles MP3 audio files, or a CD player that plays normal music CDs

  2. External speakers close to your phone, or a line-out connection between your audio source and your telephone

Click HERE to listen to samples!


WHAT YOU GET...

A.T.A.K. includes these 10 wildly absurd scenarios!

Game Over: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech while the sound of a helicopter grows louder in the background. Suddenly the helicopter becomes very loud and the police are trying to talk you out with a bull-horn.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 0:37

Game Show: You answer the phone normally, and upon hearing it's a telemarketer, you ask them to hold for a second, as you forwarded your home phone to your cell, and it's almost your turn on a national game show.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 3:39

Rotten Stomach: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech, but you can't help having frequent outbursts of gas.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 0:44

Sweet Irony: You start listening to the telemarketer's scripted speech, but then break-in to say that you are on the other phone, and it is revealed that you are also a telemarketer and are in the middle of a sale.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 1:09

Crossed Line: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech, and suddenly a rather bizarre conversation breaks-in to your frequency.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 2:12

Mars Mission: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech when suddenly an "operator" breaks-in and reveals that your highly-classified mission to Mars has been given the green light. Of course, this line was supposed to be secured, but isn't.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 1:49

UFO Landing: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech while, in the background, sounds of an alien spacecraft approaching grow louder.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 1:10

Meet Albert: You answer the phone normally, and upon hearing it's a telemarketer, you ask them to hold for a second while you put "Albert" on. Albert is your automated attendant.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 2:30

Animal Kingdom: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech when your dog starts barking, and so does the donkey, and the chickens... you get the idea.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 0:48

In Surgery: You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech and apologize as you are performing an important surgical procedure.
*TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 1:20

*Total running times based on male version. Female version may differ slightly.

Click HERE to listen to samples!


A FEW MORE IMPORTANT DETAILS...

RATED "G"... A.T.A.K. uses no foul language and no descriptions or depictions of extreme violence. We have carefully designed this product to be humorous, and so that it can be played to a general audience.

A.T.A.K. is not a device that hooks-up to your phone! It is a collection of audio files that you store on your computer or CD player, and use whenever you want to! There's nothing to hook-up, no wires, no plugs, no mess!

A.T.A.K. is only available from the creative, twisted minds of NMB Productions, and is not sold in stores, or anywhere else on the internet! Be sure to visit the main site here sometime, and see what other great ideas we offer!

Click HERE to listen to samples!

©2006 NMB Productions

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